Why not Minot?

Can you believe something only 2.45 centimeters long can produce so much vomit?

On Friday we got to see the spine, two legs, two arm buds, and a beating heart. Also got to see the brain!

We had a great visit in Minot on Friday. I got up at 5:00 am to shop with my sister and then met Betsy at the clinic at 10:30 am to check out what was brewing in her uterus.

Something was brewing indeed! The ultrasound lady seemed like she was not in a rush so she spent a lot of time taking a look around up there.

She took quite a few photos and we got to see the heartbeat again. That was a big deal.

At one point, it looked like the baby was fist pumping as if it was going crazy at a small-town street dance. (Could this be Arsenio Hall's baby? If that is the case, I should quit typing and go visit with Betsy.)

You know, the other day I was sharing about getting the butt shot at the Fire Hall? Well, add another location to the list.

We went to "Blind Side" on Friday night with my sisters and Andy Wintermute (local Thrivent Financial for Lutherans agent - contact him for any of your life insurance or savings questions) and had to find a place to give a shot.

There are not a lot of places at a movie theater where you can take your wife's pants off. So, Betsy found a guy wearing a movie theater tuxedo and a Bluetooth earpiece and asked if we could use his office. He seemed concerned because his office had several stacks of money sitting on the desk. So he said he knew of a place. We followed him and he brought us upstairs where all the movie cameras were rolling!

It was so funny! As I gave Betsy a shot in her evening check, I looked out a tiny window and watched a scene from some-sort-of Ninja movie.

So far Betsy has had a shot in:

• Movie theater
• Dakota Square parking lot
• Fire Hall
• Dark, scary parking lot in Lakota
• a kitchen in Velva
• three kitchens in Bottineau
• a side room in a clinic in Fargo where I believe we violated some sort of HEPA rule

Well, I better get going. Hope you are watching some good YouTube videos or checking your facebook when you are done with this.

That's the first time I pulled down Betsy's pants in the fire hall

While surrounded by a U.S. Customs officer, a retired ND Highway Patrol Officer, a lumber yard owner, a truck driver, a electric company lineman, a heating & cooling company owner, a farm supply store manager, a carpenter, a dude who sells boats, a bar owner, and a mechanic, the ol' Bible camp director/campfire song leader/outdoor game leader has to try a little harder to seem like a tough guy.

That's my life every fourth Tuesday when I get to go to the Bottineau Rural Fire Department (Station 2 - Lake Metigoshe) meeting. I love it.

If I had to name the top four things I love about living in Bottineau, they would be:
1. Denny's Pizza Inn
2. Being a Volunteer Fire Fighter
3. Having a kick-ass pastor who saves our food scraps for her chickens
4. Denny's Pizza Inn

I love being a part of the fire department. Some other day I'll tell you about the time I almost violated a dead beaver at a fire, but I gotta tell you what happened last night.

So, there we were, all the fire fighters were taking a test on Proper Procedures for Radio Usage in Emergency Situations. Training last night was a classrooms setting, rather than a hands-on training. In September we all went up on the camp high ropes course and last month we practiced pumping from Lake Metigoshe.

Anyways, we are in the middle of the test and guess who shows up in her sweatpants.

That would be the lovely, pregnant Betsy.

Yesterday, Betsy decided to wear her trendy brown sweatpants and my XXL camp sweatshirt from 1996. She looked good and comfy:)

Smilely Betsy says, "Oh, hi!" Then giggles and motions me to come over. Thankfully there was a giggle, because in the 12 years going to meetings, a wife/girlfriend has never crashed a meeting!

The reason she came over was because it was 8 o'clock and time for a butt shot! We hadn't really planned this out too well, so she had to drive over to get a shot.

If you have ever been to the Lake Metigoshe Fire Department, or really any fire department, there really aren't a lot of private rooms to go take your pants off.

So, Betsy and I walked beside Unit #7 and she pulled down her trendy brown sweatpants. I have got believe this may have been the first time there has been a naked ass next to the spare SCBA bottles and spare hoses in that building.

I poked her in the right check (aka, the evening cheek) and the shot was done within moments. We laughed quietly and Betsy was on her way and I was back to taking an open-book test on emergency radio techniques. 10-4

Hope you have a good Thanksgiving. Betsy has another ultrasound and bloodtest on Friday - we hope that goes well. Talk to you soon

She's always wearing my sweatpants

On October 31, 2008, I bought, what I would soon find out, the most comfortable pair of sweatpants at KMart in Bismarck. I needed a costume for Halloween - something appropriate to wear to the Governor's Mansion.

The costume consisted of grey, elastic-cuffed sweatpants and a red North Dakota tank-top that had a screenprint of a soaring eagle on it.

The costume was near perfect, but Betsy now has laid claim to these Joe Boxer sweatpants and I am concerned how often they are being worn.

Don't get me wrong, I love sweatpants and I am not pregnant. So, if Betsy wants to wear these men's XL sweatpants for the next 32 weeks - I say go for it.

But Betsy, here are the rules:

1. If they have cheese on them, I gotta wash them.
2. If you can't remember the last time they were washed, I gotta wash them.
3. You can wear them to Wal-Mart. But if you wear them to Wal-Mart, you can't shuffle your feet and just look at the magazine rack.
   
4. If you think the sweatpants are giving you a rash, your sweatpants are probably giving you a rash.

That's it. Only 4 rules for wearing those sweatpants.

Now, the good thing is that Betsy's sassy, malassy friend, Maurya, was kind enough to send her a pair of women's sweatpants. (Maurya, she got them yesterday and they only have been off to shower. I think I may buy her another.)

Thanks for your prayers and thoughts during this time. We continue to be cautiously excited. We have another appointment in Fargo on the Friday after Thanksgiving. If that one goes well, Betsy gets passed on to a doctor in Minot.

Talk to you soon

One more thing

Didn't get this on the previous post - here's a little video for you to take a look at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROBQsr1OjQM

A lot has happend since February!

There is a ton to tell you, but I am just going to start with this:

Betsy is pregnant and Birki is not impressed.

Okay, now for some details.

Earlier this summer, Betsy scheduled us for another IVF procedure to take place in October. As you can see from reading below in past posts, we had some disappointing news in February when we found out our first IVF was not going to work.

However, we were ready to try again in October. By try again, I don't mean having timed sex.

Rather, it means Betsy starts taking shots and having several instruments placed in unspeakable areas. I had already done what I needed to do...in February.

This past winter, the doctors were able to "harvest" enough eggs to save some for another date. So, in early October three embryos were shot back inside Betsy to see if they would latch on.

If there is one thing that I thought I would get better at during this whole 4-year process, that would be waiting. However, it is hard to get better at waiting.

After the IVF procedure, it was back to waiting. Eleven days to be exact. Eleven days does not seem long in the grand scheme, but it felt like 11 years. It was nice to have things to do with friends during that waiting period.

Betsy actually had a pregnancy test on day 9. However, we asked not to be informed about the results of that test. We did that because the results could be negative, but still have a chance to change to positive in two days. In February we got the negative on day 9, and it was awful waiting two days and then find out for sure it did not work.

So, it was a Thursday when the first test happened, and we had to wait until the following Monday for the second test. That was a long weekend :)

So, on Monday, October 26, Betsy took her second pregnancy test in Minot then left for a meeting in Rugby. Again, we had to wait.

We were expecting a call about 3 pm, but at noon I got a call in Bottineau.

The nurse said, "Is Betsy there?"

"No."

"Oh, this is Meritcare and we need to speak to her. Is it okay to let you know the news?"

During this time I was outside walking nervously knowing that this would be either really really good, or really bad.

I said, "It's okay to tell me."

So, there was a little commotion and then the sound of being put on speaker phone. Then, I started hearing indiscernible screaming in the phone!

"Is this good news?" I asked.

"YES! Betsy is pregnant!"

Now remember how I said Birki was not impressed? Well, I had no idea what to do except run home and talk to my dog. How sane does that seem? I fist-pumped and spoke loud and quickly to Birki.

Birki - not impressed. Somewhat bored even. She yawned and stretched while we visited.

I realized that I had left the lunch table at work and they were expecting to hear the news. I spent several minutes outside replaying the phone call in my mind so that I was sure that it was not a dream!

I finally got myself in and shared the good news and told them I needed to go buy something. I didn't know what, but I needed to buy something before Betsy came home.

Now, here was the tricky part. Betsy was in Rugby and still at least an hour before she would be home. I quickly drove to town to buy a bunch of pink and blue balloons. I had to hide from some people in the store so they wouldn't ask why I was buying 15 pink and blue balloons. I had already decided that I would tell them we were having a baby shower for someone up at the lake and I was sent to town to buy stuff.

Anyways, I came home as fast as I could and waited on the road for Betsy to come home. She rounded the corner and I stood in the road with the balloons and a sign that said, "You did it!"

Those next several hours were a bit of a blur of excitement. We had a chance to call some friends and family and just wallow in this special news.

Then, there was more waiting. Damn it. I still am not that good at waiting.

During this waiting time, Betsy continued to take medication - including shots in the ass.

One time that sticks out was on our drive to Fargo for the first ultrasound. At 8 pm, the designated shot time, we were driving on Hwy 2 and had to stop in Lakota. Not a lot of private spots in Lakota. So, isn't it obvious that we should stop at a dark parking lot along the highway? Makes tons of sense.

Because I have to give Betsy a shot in the keyster, she has to get into a position where I could give her shot...while in a car. I'm not sure when the last time you tried to take your pants off in a car (by the way, I DON'T want to know when) but it is a little tricky. (It was easier in college! Just kidding Al!! Seriously, I am just joking!)

Anyways, the decision was made that Betsy would stand next to the drivers door where I was sitting and get her shot. So, in this dark parking lot, next to the busy highway, Betsy stood by the door and dropped trou! I had to somehow stop laughing, grab some ice out of my McDonalds cup to numb her check, and give her a shot.

Well, finally got the needle in, but when we were done, we realized it was a bleeder! She immediately started bleeding, I dropped the band-aid, lost the needle, and started yelling for a sponge as if I was a doctor on MASH!

Remember when all you had to do to get pregnant was have sex?

Okay, back to the waiting. We ended up having our first ultrasound last Monday, November 2. We were anxious and excited. Betsy's "numbers" were great, but needed to see if there was something growing and if it was in the right spot.

Bob, the monotone ultrasound guy, did his business and we got to see a black splotch in the right spot! Great news!! We were so excited and the doctor told Betsy that she thought our baby was an over-achiever. Betsy loved hearing that.

Okay, now we have to wait again. Betsy has been pregnant twice before, but we have never made it to an ultrasound where we saw or heard the heartbeat.

Wait.
Wait.
Wait.

Today, Friday the 13th, was our next ultrasound. We quietly drove to town knowing this could be the greatest day ever, or a repeat of a very disappointing day. We kept encouraging each other and we also knew there were a lot of people thinking of us.

Again, monotone Bob came in and did his business. I don't think he completely understood how big of a day this was for us. We had to explain that we have twice came to an ultrasound and nothing was found. This, Bob, was a big deal for us.

So, all of a sudden up on the screen we saw the black splotch with something tiny in it. Then, a briefly, and I mean briefly, heard the heartbeat!!!! Betsy and I immediately did this kinda laugh/cry thing that made the ultrasound photo go away. Laughter apparently mucks up an ultrasound.

(Imagine this said very casually and sorta sleepy-like) "Everything looks good," says Bob.

BOB!!! This is so awesome!!!

Bob left and we hugged and smooched. This was pretty awesome. When we arrived I was looking around for a side door to leave just in case we got bad news. They probably didn't want us walking through the waiting room if we were completely devastated.

Then we went to see our doctor and she gave Betsy a hug and I gave her a high-five.

She told Betsy she almost just a regular pregnant lady.

Alright, I gotta go eat. Talk to you soon.

Wish it was a Dan Brown Book

Have you ever read a book by Dan Brown? He's the guy that wrote THE DA VINCI CODE.

Well, anyways, his chapters are sometimes only one or two pages long. I love those kind of books! When you are reading it, it feels like you are flying through the book because you can finish 10 chapters in 30 minutes.

I've also read a couple books (I'm not a big reader - so when I say "a couple," I really mean two) that have chapters that go one for dozens of pages. If I feel the book is moving slow, I will often look ahead to see when the chapter will end. I'm always bummed to see if I have 27 more pages to go to get to chapter 2!

Today, at least, it feels like we are in the middle of a long chapter. We still don't know what's next, but we're assured that we have good friends and family thinking about us. Thanks so much for your prayers.

Monday we got a call letting us know our in vitro won’t work this time.

So what now? Now, we cling to your prayers and your love, and beyond that, we're not sure. In these years of trying to have a baby, we have had hopeful weeks of exciting anticipation of becoming parents, we just assume we’re going to get pregnant. We don’t “plan” on it not working; we “plan” on it working. We share ideas about a nursery or wander in the aisles of Target looking at infant clothing, not outline an action plan for disappointment.

So, for the next few days, or weeks, (I don’t know), we will grieve our loss, not “figure out” what’s next. So far, in just a matter of hours, both of us have bounced around many places grief takes us – sadness, anger, disbelieve, numbness. You name it.

What is such a gift is that you have been so good to us for checking how we are doing and sharing your thoughts and prayers. We know you have been hoping only the best for us. I was looking forward to putting up a new post on the blog letting you know it worked. But, it won’t be today.

Our pastor, Pastor Carol, has been so kind to us and sent us of to Fargo a couple weeks ago with a service of blessing. The prayers she offered have meant so much to us and will continue to be. Maybe someday I can share those with you. She also shared with us scripture from the Psalms. Right before we took off for Fargo for this hopeful event, she shared with us the words of Psalm 139. Psalm 139 also happened to be the same scripture we used at our wedding 11 years ago.

We would love to continue to have your prayers and if you can, take a look at Psalm 139.

We do have another appointment on Wednesday, but without promising news from the first blood test, it’s not an appointment that will change these results.

There is no doubt about it—we are heart-broken about this and surrounded by so much love and prayers.

Thank you.

Psalm 139
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

Why am I in Texas?

Because of some miscalculations taken in November, I am typing this from a Super 8 in Austin...Texas.

Last fall it made tons of sense to travel 1,539 miles due south to figure out How Institutional Advancement must Evolve in our Internet-enabled Society and learn How to Develop and Implement Strategies for Successfully Cultivating and Soliciting Major Gifts. And why wouldn't I want to enhance my Fundraising through Multi-Channel Marketing?

Honestly, I am looking forward to this Association of Lutheran Development Executives conference, but my girlfriend is trying to get pregnant!

After doing a little Internet research this morning, I have learned that today is called "8dp3dt" That is code for 8 Days Past 3 Day Transfer. Which means it has been 8 days since we transferred 3-day old embryos.

Monday Betsy will go in for a blood test. Some people call it "beta" test or HCG test. Betsy's in Berthold this weekend with my parents and I imagine that they are having a great time. My mom and dad are probably looking on the Internet and Betsy is thinking, "Okay, RD and Rose. Let's do something different than look at the internet!" (Mom or dad - if you are reading this right now and Betsy is standing in the living room looking at you, then just slowly close your computer and say something to her :)

Well, I better get to the airport. I have to go back to the airport to get on a shuttle to another motel.

I probably should go to the exercise room! This morning I ate a Texas-shaped waffle in the continental breakfast room...plus bacon...plus a sausage muffin...plus some more bacon. Anyways, I walked by what I thought was a opening in the wall and saw a kinda-chubby guy wearing the same shirt I was. Well, after a second look, I noticed that it was a mirror, not a hole in the wall. That chubby guy with man-boobs was me!

When your wife is trying to get larger, I don't think I was supposed to get larger, too!

Talk to you soon!

Jokes and Kabobs

Again, if you are every looking for some fun friends, you can find some good candidates in the Bottineau/Metigoshe area. I thought we were just going to have a quiet evening eating Kabobs last night, but conversation led to us laughing so hard our cheeks hurt.

Just wanted to give you a little update.

Betsy's belly is starting to look like Rocky Balboas face! Betsy has to give herself a shot in the stomach twice a day and it leaves a black & blue mark each time. I've suggested strategically giving the shots so the bruise marks make a smilely face or the initials "KD." So far it just looks like she has had several ballpoint pins exploded on her stomach.

Monday is our next important day, along with this coming Wednesday. Monday is a day that important hormone levels are tested and Wednesday will be the day to take a pregnancy test.

We are just trying to do everything we can to stay busy, rather than just sitting and waiting.

Hope you have a good weekend. Talk to you soon.

Nothing says "Welcome back home" like a vagina cookie

Geez, we got awesome friends.

We got home Monday and we were excited to see our friends Brian, Anna, and Katie. They brought us some great gifts:

1. Balloons

2. Beef jerky

3. M&Ms and Milk Duds

4. Liquid Gold brand toilet paper

5. A good movie and cd

6. Gatorade

7. Tacos

8. And then there's one thing I do not my parents to know about (To everyone except my parents, if I see you sometime I'll tell you. But I don't even think Betsy wants me to tell you.)

Anyways, for dessert, Anna, who is a kick-ass nurse, decided to makes us something special. We were not allowed to come into the kitchen area as the masterpiece was being assembled.

However, at one point, she panicked because she could not find her licorice. The only thing we could offer were Gummy Worms, and she thought they would suffice.

Well, it was time to unveil the mysterious delicatessen and you know what it was? It was a cookie...in the shape of a vagina.

(Betsy has this editorial comment she insisted I add: "This model is far more than just a vagina. Kyle is just writing that for shock value. It is actually a very good representation of the female reproductive system. Betsy said that if one of her anatomy/physiology students had created this as a final project, she would likely give him/her an A. So, good job, Anna. Four years at Luther College and a board certified RN - you know your reproductive anatomy!")

Who makes that kinda stuff? What a bizarre treat? Here it is:

If you look closely, you can tell that it is more than just a vagina. It also included the uterus, fallopian tubes made of Gummy Worms, and ovaries made of vanilla ice cream.

As a science lesson, I explained how the embryos were placed in the uterus. (The embryos, which are actually two Milk Duds, can be seen in the MIP. (Maximul Implantation Point)

I also was able to sneak a picture of Betsy in her sweatpants. (Did I tell you she has two pair of the same exact pant?)

Well, today the embryos have been in Betsy's oven for 3 days. Hopefully "Valen" and "Tino" have settled in and found a comfy spot to rest for 40 weeks. They were at 8 cells on Saturday, and today there could be 100 or more. This is what it probably looks like:

Well, I better go get Betsy a snack. (It won't be ice cream, however. Last night she used the Peppermint Ice Cream to freeze her butt check a little before I gave her a shot. After the shot, we cleaned up everything...except the ice cream. This morning when Betsy went into the bathroom, there was a half gallon of Peppermint Ice Cream melted all over the toilet tank. The only plus is that it smells nice in our bathroom right now.)

Sweatpants and finding a parking spot.

Remember those gray sweatpants I told you about? The Joe Boxer sweatpants from K-Mart - they are men's large sweatpants with nice elastic cuffs.

Well, we were driving back home today and this is what happened.

"Kyle."

"Yes."

"I'm looking forward to being at home and going back to the office, but here's the problem."

"What's the problem?"

"I don't want to stop wearing these sweatpants."

"Oh, sweetheart, I think it's time to stop wearing the sweatpants."

"Really?"

"Ah, really. Here's a little bit of advice. If we feel like you have been wearing the same pair of sweatpants too many days in a row, you probably are wearing your sweatpants too many days in a row."

It's now been over 48 hours since the embryo transfer and our hope is that both the embryos have found a parking spot in Betsy's oven. On Saturday, as I watched the embryo transfer on the ultrasound screen, Bob (the ultrasound guy) said, "okay, that looks perfect!"

At that point, all I could see is what looked like a miniature white eel swimming to the left. That Bob, he must know what he's doing because I have no idea how he knew when to tell the doctor to squeeze the trigger.

We're now home and looking forward to the next week, or so. We received doctor's orders that Betsy is not to do the laundry, wash dishes, vacuum, cook, or eat bamboo shoots. (That last one seems weird, I know. I don't know what that is all about.)

Sometime tonight I hope to sneak a picture of Betsy and her sweatpants. I'll post it if I can do it secretly.

Valium Kicks Betsy's Butt

First of all, if you find yourself in a contest where you have to choose one partner to take narcotic drugs, don't pick Betsy.

She is such a light-weight when it comes to mind-altering drugs.

Don't get me wrong, I'm pleased with that fact, but she is knocked out right now because she had to take Valium for this procedure that happened this morning.

We had instructions to be at the clinic this morning at 8:45 am for, what people in the biz call, the embryo transfer.

Just to give you a visual, Betsy decided to wear KMart brand grey sweatpants with elastic cuffs and she looked good! You don't have to wear fancy lingerie to get pregnant anymore, you can just wear sweatpants.

Here is another little tidbit - Betsy had to come with a full bladder which makes it easier to do the transfer. (If you need more information about that, just let me know.) But to keep it simple, she arrived at 8:45 kinda wanting to pee.

So, the first thing that happens is acupuncture! Can you believe it?! MeritCare's reproductive clinic has a 20% increase in pregnancy rates for people who do acupuncture when doing IVF.

An MD does the acupuncture and she was awesome. I don't understand it, but I'm glad to hear it helps. She started by pokin' a little needle in Betsy's head. Then the doctor looked at Betsy's thumb carefully, said "okay," then shoved two more needles into her calves. Then the doctor held her hand up to Betsy's and said, "yep." Then she popped two more needles into her belly!

It's strange, I know. But this type of procedure helps the blood flow to the "oven." (People in the medical field...well, I guess most people, call it the uterus, not the oven.)

While we wait for the acupuncture procedure to be completed, other people start coming in with a variety of clamps, very large Q-tips, and something that sounded like a bug zapper.

Our doctor, Dr. Dahl, came in and she was pumped! She told us that 8 of those 12 fertilized eggs were still growing! And that is great!! The picture above shows the two best embryos. The top right one was GRADE 1 and the other was GRADE 2. Grade 1 embryos are not easy to get, so Betsy and I shared a high five. (But I had to be careful - she had about 14 needles in her at that point.)

So, the plan was made to transfer 2 and freeze the other 6. Those can be used later if we want. We would just come back, they'd take them out the fridge and leave them on the counter to thaw out, then put them in.

Anyways, after 25 minutes of acupuncture and making sure that they were taking the correct embryos from the lab, it was time for the actual transfer.

Remember how I said Betsy had to pee at 8:45 am? Well, it's now 10:00 am and still no good time to pee.

Next, a masked lady comes into the room and says, "Debertin two." That means she is carrying two embryos in a syringe from the Debertin family. If she would have walked in and said, "Johnson three." I would've had to use my hockey goalie skills and stand between the pipes to make sure they weren't going to put the wrong ones in. (When I say stand between the pipes, I mean stirrups. But saying "standing between the pipes" sounds cooler.)

So, in the room, there is the doctor, Bob the ultrasound guy, the masked lady, and then some other stranger walked in, too. Not sure who she was. Anyways, there were 6 of us in the room. Betsy didn't get to see from her angle, but I, along with the other four, got to watch everything on the ultrasound screen. It was awesome.

Anyways, during this time I decided to say, "Betsy, usually there wasn't this many people in the bedroom." The problem was that Betsy laughed a little. so the doctor had to scold us, slightly, for laughing. I guess when your placing embryos in a uterus, you shouldn't make any movements in the belly area. When she laughed, I saw her "innards" wiggle on the ultrasound screen. Oops, sorry Betsy for the joke.

Actually, the doctor wasn't really upset. I think she just was surprised to have her patient laughing during a sorta important part of the process.

So, the embryos went in at 10:20 am. Wow.

Then it was time for 25 more minutes of acupuncture. Remember that "bug zapper" sound I mentioned? Well, she took this little zapping tool and put it up to Betsy's ears to look for a good point to poke. Betsy was a trooper. 10 more needles and then 25 more minutes of relaxing. The problem was now she was really needing to go to the bathroom. She chugged a liter bottle of water on the car ride in and now she was about to explode! She made it to 20 minutes then had to call it. It was time to pee.

So, I held Betsy's hand while she walked to the bathroom while wearing one of those hospital gowns on. I was dying to say some sort of joke about her butt checks showing, but we had already gotten in trouble once for laughing, so I didn't want to push my luck. But I'll tell you one thing, Betsy "high on Valium" with her cute tush showing is so dang funny! She also has two Sharpie marker circles on her butt!

Betsy got a hug from the nurse and then we were free to go. So today is just a resting day. We will either come home Sunday or Monday.

Then we wait.

Well, I better go get some snacks for Betsy. Talk to you soon.

Minor regional television celebrity and a helpful poster

Geez, I love the West Acres Food Court.

I could eat most of my meals in that beautiful sanctuary of food goodness. Today, Betsy and I had lunch at the mall. If I was by myself, or with Brian, I would've ordered the number 1 combo at McDonalds AND a 6-piece chicken McNugget. Betsy, though, thought we should start with a salad.

I say, "Salad? I don't know if you have forgotten, but I go to the gym. Nobody every says, 'Man, I've been building so much muscle mass since eating more salad.'"

We shared a salad.

Anyways, after eating our salad, I then went and got a McDouble. (For those of you that are unaware, the McDouble replaced the Double Cheeseburger on the McDonalds' Dollar Menu. It is a double cheeseburger, except it only has one piece of cheese, not two. Damn recession. That economic stimulus package better have some cheese stimulus.)

While I was in line, low-n-behold, there was Hutch Johnson, the weather guy from KVLY in Fargo. Every night this week I felt like he was going to explode out of the the TV screen into the Nielsen family room! Anyways, he is a giant and he loves McDonalds.

I was also going to ask you a question about Bluetooth technology, but I thought I should give you a little fertility update.

Saturday morning we will be going to the clinic and two embryos will be put into some sort of syringe and then returned to Betsy's uterus. She has to come with a full bladder, so my plan is to tell a bunch of funny jokes on the car ride into town just to mess with her a little bit. (However, just so you know, if she says, "Alright Kyle, that's about enough," I am going to back off.)

Okay, if you love posters just as much as I do, you can take a look at http://www.firstivf.net/ivf_steps.jpg

It is a poster explaining exactly what we are doing. There are some nice diagrams, if you are into nice diagrams and stuff like that.

Hope you are having a good day. We are doing very well - Betsy is very mushy after a facial she got as a gift from a friend. She also got a pedicure for her birthday - she got sparkly purple toenail polish. She was too shy, however, to take her socks off during her last procedure to show off her sparkly toes to the doctor! (However, I don't think they are looking at feet when you are at a fertility clinic.)

Talk to you soon.

The Debertin Dirty Dozen

Okay, Betsy was willing to squeeze out 21 follicles yesterday. Follicles, I think, are like small water balloons in the ovary. In each follicle there is a potential to have an egg. (It all depends on the estrogen. If you have 21 follicles and low estrogen - there are very few eggs. Betsy was pumpin' out the estrogen - they sucked out 21 follicles and 18 of them had eggs!)

So, this morning the clinic called and said that 12 ended up getting fertilized. That is very good, clinically speaking. If you would get 12 out of 18 on one of Betsy's science quizzes when she was a teacher, you would probably fail that quiz. But when it comes to sperm conquering eggs, those are good numbers. Our friend, Maurya "Hottie McTottie" Laqua, calls them the "Debertin Dirty Dozen."

Now we gotta wait.

So we did some work this morning then headed to Barnes and Noble. That's where Betsy took a nap and I did some other stuff. She looked like someone who had no home - she just walked into B&N and slumped down into a stuffed chair and started snoozing.

We knew we could do this because two years ago we took a vacation to Fargo and MSP. The year prior to that we had been to some warm place in the Caribbean, but thought we would try something different. However, we missed just napping in a warm place. So, instead, we just went to Barnes & Noble and both took two-hour naps.

Oh, I almost forgot. Betsy now has to get a shot in the ass every evening. (Sorry if I offend you when I say, "every evening.") Anyways, most shots are a water-based liquid. The stuff she has to take now is made of sesame oil. It's kinda like taking a needle, sucking in some movie theater butter flavoring, and squeezing it into her butt check. She starts by putting a half-gallon of Cass Clay Homemade Vanilla ice cream on her butt to numb her check. It's so weird to say, "Alright honey, take the ice cream off your butt. I gotta give you a shot."

Other highlights of the day:
1. contemplated buying a commercial pizza oven at Sam's Club
2. went to the movie "She's just not that in to you" with 47 other women and one other dude
3. read some disturbing bathroom stall poems in SunMart at 6:45 am
4. ate too much sauerkraut at a NDSU Bison basketball game
5. tried to text message - I still can figure "t9"ing
6. got creeped out by the creepy lady at "Space Aliens" who stared directly at our foreheads
7. worried about taking too many fiber pills (bought a box of 220 assorted fruit flavored Fiber Choice pills at Sam's on Tuesday. The grape, green apple, and strawberry are delish. However, should not have eaten all three at one time.)

Alright, I'll let you know if there is any new news on Friday.

Rather than trying to explain everything that has happened up until this point, I am going to just start from today. But here is a one-sentence review of the last four years:

Lotta sex, even some doctor-ordered, but nothing seems to happen nine months later.

On to today:

Today, February 11, 2009, was the day doctors sucked out 21 follicles out of Betsy's ovaries.

Prior to today, Betsy has been taking a load of medications. For the past week Betsy has been sitting by the kitchen table each evening mixing up stuff in little bottles and giving herself shots. Betsy first started taking injectable medication at least a year ago. The first time she took it, it involved holding an ice cube on her stomach for ten minutes, laying on a couch, covering her eyes, and then me poking her.

She has now progressed to having me pull over on the side of the road, and within a minute she is done giving herself a shot and is saying, "Alright Debertin, let's get going."

Sunday night she had to take a different medication that involved me giving her a shot in the butt! We were at the doctor's office on Saturday and she took a Sharpie marker to make two circles on her arse. (Sorta like "bullseyes" for me to use.)

Anyways, Sunday night at precisely 10:00 pm I was supposed to give her this shot. Her past needles have been pretty short and into the stomach. This needle was 2 inches long and I had to do it!

We were standing in her parents' bathroom at 10 pm and I said, "HERE WE GO!" (Then I was slightly scolded - she thought I was being a clown, but, in fact I was just trying to convey the significance of the shot at this moment in our lives.) (Sometime our styles of humor don't match when I have a huge needle in my hand and I am about to give her a shot in her bum.) (By the way, I went to school for public relations, not nursing. The closest thing to a shot that I have given is trying to get a straw into a Capri Sun juice pouch.)

This past Monday we had another appointment and went pretty well. We had been getting good reports, but on Monday the doctor was concerned that Betsy may have too much Estrogen. Having too much would mean we would need to postpone this IVF cycle. We were not mentally prepared for the news, so the next 7 hours waiting for the blood results were a bit stressful.

At 2:oo she called - no results. At 2:45 - no results. Then at 3:30 pm she called and the Estrogen was okay! I did some sort of hip-hop dance move on the kitchen floor. Betsy just smiled and said, "come here and give me a hug!"

That brings us to today - Wednesday. We went to the clinic - I skipped going to the gym. (That sounds arrogant, but my father-in-law, Al, invited me to join him at the gym every morning this week. (By the way, we are staying in Fargo right now with Betsy's parents) Anyways, we leave for the gym at 5:35 am! I've been to "a gym" twice in my life and I have no clue what I am doing! I mostly go around and try a machine for a few minutes, fake some stretches, disinfect my machine, then move over to the weights.)

So instead of sweating on a rowing machine, we went to the clinic where Betsy had surgery and I "visited my aunt."

(If you look at the title of this Blog, there is a quick explanation of "visiting my aunt.")

We went to our clinic and Betsy got to be the first person to get her follicles sucked out. I have very few details about how this happens, but I do know she is under anesthesia and there's a long needle.

After Betsy was in recovery, I got to go see how she was doing. A few weeks ago she had to have a minor surgery where she was put under. That time, when she was in recovery, she cried when she told me how good her peanut-butter toast was.

This time she didn't cry - she just introduced me to everyone in the recovery room. Soon the doctor walked in and he was wearing scrubs that had pictures of 5000 fish on them. We said, "Hey, nice scrubs."

He said, "Hey, have you ever been to Key West?"

I said, "Yep. All I saw were chickens."

He said, "Oh, there's also a whole store full of scrubs!"

Anyways, he told us they got 21 follicles and 16 of those were good!

That's good news! Unlike West Coast IVF where the octoplets were conceived, here they will only place 2 embryos. So, we will not have our own cable show when this is all done.

So, today the eggs will be fertilized in a petri dish, not a test tube. (Test tube babies are actually petri dish babies - "test tube" just sounds cooler.)

Tomorrow we will find out how many of those 16 actually got fertilized and then Saturday they will put two back into Betsy.

Well, that's all I got right now. I'll keep you up-to-date.
Kyle